Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The 5 types of Yogis.

I have so much to say about yoga so I think I'm going to write a weekly post on some yoga subject, would any of you read that?

Well to start it out, lets talk about something funny.  The 5 types of yogis.  Ok.  Really, there are 6.  The 6th being the category that includes all normal people.  Like me.  And hopefully you. Unless you are #3, in which case teach me your ways.

In one of my latest yoga classes, I got to thinking about the types of people who show up around the studio.  You could probably come up with a handful of your own stereoypes (feel free to share!) but here is what I've got for you.  (Please take this with a grain of salt.  I love all you crazy yogis out there.) 

1.  The Noisemaker.  This is the yogi who feels the need to breath so loudly that you'd think they were trying to give the teacher mouth-to-mouth.  From across the room.  This category also includes those who feel the need to sigh, moan, or use expletives in every posture. 

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2.  The Extra-Cruntchy Granola.  You know this person.  They always show up to class with about one thousand mason jars full of unrecognizable liquid that they claim is "soo good!"  Is it kombucha?  A spirulina smoothie? Urine?  (idk, there could be anything in there!)  They also exclusively bike or walk to class.  They roll out their sustainable yoga mat, touched only by all-natural cleaners.  They don't wear anything sweat-wicking.  Or anything Lululemon. 

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3.  The Freakishly Strong.  Ahh yes, the sneakiest of all yogis.  They act like regular people.  They look like regular people.  In fact, they sometimes even look like regular out-of-shape people.  This is the person you might strategically position yourself next to in order to make yourself look better.  But watch out.  They can probably seamlessly transition from crow to scorpian.  And they will put you to shame.

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4.  The Overachiever.  Remember when I said that I "love" all the crazy yogis out there?  Well, I lied.  I do not love The Overachiever.  In fact, this person drives me nuts.  This is the yogi who has to set up their mat front and center in every single class.  They pretend to follow the teacher's sequence for the first couple of poses and then BAM.  They suddenly start breaking out every difficult and advanced pose they can think of, completely disregarding the teacher.  Ok, maybe it's not always quite like that- but still, it's pretty rude if you ask me.

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5.  The Old Guy Wearing No Pants.  Do I even need to explain this one?  If you've seen him, you already know too much.

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Which type of yogi are you?  Do I have any #5 readers out there??



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